Friday, July 4, 2014

Fun Friday 23 ~ Create An Attraction For An Epic Fantasy Theme Park

Mulluane | Friday, July 04, 2014 | 10 Comments so far
It is Friday! Happy Fourth of July! 

Last friday post was on the serious side so this time we are going for all out fun!

But before we get to that, here is the usual weekly recap. This time it is for 2 weeks since I didn't do one of these posts last Friday.

Now on with the Fun!

I Want YOU To Create An Attraction For An Epic Fantasy Theme Park!

This is not your typical Disney theme park. It is not a Renaissance Faire or a Cosplay Convention. I envision a dark, creepy park where a degree of horror is allowed, as long as it is more fantasy than supernatural. I want adventure, thrills, chills, excitement, and humor with plenty of fantasy tropes and limited gore. Oh and killing the customers is allowed as long as you can do so quietly. Wouldn't be much of a park if everybody ran to the exits in a mindless panic; so lets avoid that shall we?
Elf Fun House
This can be alot of fun if we put our minds to it. Always wanted to design your own rollercoaster? Now is your chance! A fun house maybe? A carousel ride that is more than it appears? How about a magic show with real magic? The possibilities are only as limited as your imagination.

Oh and I want details. Lots of details. Or simple, simple is good too. Afterall it is YOUR creation. It can be a bare bones design or a story like mine is. Make of it whatever you will.

But... I'll go you one better! If you create a big, complicated attraction I'll even make it into a full post! Just tell me in the comments that your attraction is too big to describe there and we'll figure out the best way to coordinate a full post either here or on your own blog. Once it is up, I'll go back and add a comment to your original comment, including the post url so future visitors can jump right to your creation.

Take all the time you need. Blog isn't going anywhere and I know it is a holiday, summertime and nasty weather season. When a new comment gets added I'll just mention it in the weekly roundups or even faster, you can subscribe to this post! The "notify" button isn't easy to see and even easier to forget to checkmark but that is the fastest way to learn of new comments.

Now on to my creation! 

***Warning*** There is alot of telling and little to no showing but I'm not a writer. I'm a batty goofball.

♥ My Theme Attraction ♥

Imagine if you will a tunnel of love. Now wipe that image right out of your mind because trust me, this is not your normal tunnel of love at all.

This wondrous creation is in the shape of a beautiful white dragon with mother-of-pearl colored scales, all gleaming like opals in the sunlight. Her eyes are a shimmering cobalt blue as she appears to scan the line of couples eagerly awaiting their chance to step into her open maw. Her claws are painted the same hue as those magnificent eyes and her head rests demurely on her crossed forearms. Not even her huge gaping maw is intimidating because some enterprising soul has surrounded each tooth with a gorgeous array of pastel flowers and gently chiming windchimes.

The actual length of the ride is somewhat of a mystery since the back quarter of the dragon is encased inside a tent but that just adds to the anticipation. A more innocent and romantic appearing dragon has never been seen either before or since.

At the entrance stands a young man all dressed in blue to match. In his hands are two odd looking glass objects. Shaped kind of like an hourglass, these lanterns (for they are indeed lanterns) are filled with super fireflies! These are much bigger than mundane fireflies and MUCH brighter. Besides, candles may be deemed as romantic but hot wax dripping on your fingers is annoying to some people. 


First up is a lovely couple. The man trying his best to look both attentive and heroic, while his companion latches onto his arm like a scared cat. Claws and all.

"Oh Mandrake!" She squeals. "Isn't it just lovely! I ADORE dragons! And look! Firefly lanterns! Aren't they just WONDERFUL!"

***At this point our poor wannabe hero is secretly noting that she also sounds like a scared cat and wonders just what he has gotten himself into...***

Each participant receives a lantern and grasping them firmly around the middle, they enter the dragon's maw. Immediately a strong rhythmic beat can be heard from all around them. A voice gently fills the air, informing them that what they hear is the heartbeat of love. The man rolls his eyes while his companion sighs and smiles wistfully, digging her nails even deeper into his poor arm.

***By now our abused suitor is seriously contemplating ripping those nails off of her fingers -- one by one.***

As they stroll a bit further down the tunnel they encounter a door. More of a flap really. It is a pretty flap, all decorated with roses and hearts, but it is deceptively heavy. The man flexes his muscles, the lady ooos appreciatively, and he holds open the flap - gallantly motioning her to step in.

Once inside they encounter a small plastic boat drawn up on the shore of what appears to be a smooth glistening lake. The voice whispers that all that is needed is for our couple to seat themselves within and the boat would magically take them on a peaceful, romantic ride. A coying scent of roses fills the air. Soft romantic music begins to play. Our couple seat themselves comfortably and the boat moves forward on a sudden intake of air; skimming slowly across the now bubbling pool. Our fair maiden squeals with delight while transferring her death grip to her suitor's upper thigh.

***It might be noted that all thoughts of romance have vanished from the gentleman's mind; replaced by thoughts like "I wonder if she can swim" and "Will anybody, including her parents, actually miss her if I throw her off the boat?"***

But our poor hero, having been turned into a human pincushion, has no idea that his problems are about to come to a screeching halt... literally. In a matter of moments the plastic boat and its surprised occupants quickly dissolve in a pool of crystal clear sulfuric acid. The couples' screams muffled by the dragon's thick hide.

***It might also be noted, in passing as it were, our unfortunate pincushion did not experience his life flashing before his eyes. Instead his last confused thought was, "I wonder why somebody is standing on my lady's tail?"

The lady in question had no thoughts at all.***

It is about this same time that the attendant excuses himself politely and promising to return promptly, disappears into the tent. Outside a few loiterers standing close by detect a sudden flurry of activity, oddly accompanied by a strong scent of roses, a noise that sounded strangely like a fart, followed by a plopping sound. Four plops to be exact.

***This event is was also accompanied by what sounded like a mix between a giggle, a snort and someone muttering the word, "Idiots..." But of course that could have been nothing more than an errant gust of wind.***

Unseen by all, the dragon boy quickly scoops up two piles of carbon based ash and two glass lanterns, all while loudly proclaiming in a voice that carries clearly to the front, "Oh wonderful! I am glad you enjoyed it! Come right this way. The exit is to the rear..."

Smiling from ear to ear, the dragon boy emerges from the tent and with a bow, hands two super firefly lanterns to the next lucky meal... umm couple.

***In conclusion, it is a shame that none of our eager couples bothered to stop looking adoringly into each other's eyes. If they had they might have noticed that our dragon had acquired a rather satisfied gleam in her own blue orbs.

Idiots... ***

***Moral of the story: Forget romance. Get a cat instead. You'll live longer.***

So now it is your turn. Just keep in mind that you can play this any way you want. Only hard fast rule is it should be Epic/High Fantasy based.

Maddalena's GRRM Theme Park ♥

 photo poster_zpsc9819327.jpg
Now this entry went beyond my wildest dreams! Awesome job!

Be sure to check out Maddalena's fantastic review blog, Space and Sorcery.

Don't like this question? Look here "Fun Fridays" and see if there is one you do like! Comments are always welcome, even on older posts.

Mulluane is a 55-year-old proud grandmother of 4, who is passionate about her pets, blogging, traditional fantasy, and tinkering with webdesign. She is obssesively photo shy but she uses an avatar that accurately represents her dreams. ♥ You can also find her on:

Twitter ~ Facebook ~ Pinterest
Dragons, Heroes and Wizards


  1. Tell me the truth: you are related to GRR Martin, are you not?
    The gleeful way you killed those two idiots... er... poor unfortunates, seems to point in that direction!
    :-D :-D

    I loved it, and I love the idea for the theme park from hell! Now I will need to fire up the old neuron and see what will come out... This is going to be FUN *eg*

    1. I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you too... but not gleefully of course :>P

      Take your time. I know it took me days of editing before I was happy with mine. :>)

  2. Why stop at just rides? No fantasy park is complete without a minstrel show (audience participation not necessarily required)

    1. That is why I used the word "attractions" I thought that covered more than just rides. But please, create anything you want!

  3. Ok, if I had any doubts about being certifiably crazy before, now I'm certain... :-D

    I decided to do a brochure for GRR Martin's "Westeros Experience" - a sort of bloody theme park...

    It's here:
    (click on the image to enlarge)

    Enjoy! ;-)

    1. Oh WOW, thank you!!!
      I'm the one who's speechless!

      This was such fun, I kept grinning all the time as I was collecting images!
      To say that your prompts are thought-provoking would be the understatement of the century...


  4. How about the catering? You could recycle the deceased hero as a hot-dog. I always thought of you as a romantic, but your tunnel of love has blown that now!!

    1. But... the dragon ate him!

      I know! We could make the Dragon get mad at the dragon boy, send what is left over to the butcher to be made into Dragon Brats! With sauerkraut of course...

      Is that more romantic?


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